‘Oh!’ is for Oxytocin

There are many ‘Oh, really?!’ moments when finding out about the hormone oxytocin. Its effects in our relationships are truly awe-inspiring. It creates bonds, it stimulates social interactions, it reduces stress and it promotes healing processes.

Let’s start with the familiar. Breastfeeding mums know about it as the hormone that delivers milk to the baby via the MER (milk ejection reflex). What a vital job this is and how effortlessly it happens when a mother and baby snuggle together and stimulate the hormonal flow!
It’s the same hormone present in extremely high levels during birth so, after an uncomplicated birth,  mother and baby are especially alert to each other and can groom, explore, feed and then relax togther after their labours. It’s marvellous that baby-friendly hospitals promote skin to skin after any birth – but let’s also encourage parents to do lots of close holding for many months  to come.
For lovers, the pleasures of orgasm come from high levels of oxytocin being released and result in the desire to repeat these experiences and be with the intimate one.
No wonder that oxytocin has been labelled the hormone of love! – it’s a key player at these intensely loving and bonding moments in our human lives.

But what about the less familiar aspects of oxytocin?  What happens when adults come together in an environment where they can feel trusting? Lots of observations have shown that they interact and create close and warm contacts with each other. It’s oxytocin which has enabled this interaction . Many of us can tell of babies who start feeding better in a companionable breastfeeding support group – they’ve experienced the stress-reducing effects of oxytocin generated in the group and relaxed enough to feed effectively! And once they do start feeding, they receive even more oxytocin in the breastmilk itself which makes them want to continue and come back to it again and again – and even again:)

Adults also enjoy eating – and eating with others is especially pleasurable.  Once more, the enjoyment comes from oxytocin.  That’s because the hormones responsible for digestion have sent messages to the brain which has then released the oxytocin. Food eaten hurriedly or on your own doesn’t usually have the same effect. It’s the presence of others whom we find harmless and familiar (we don’t tend to dine with strangers!) that creates the trust which triggers the oxytocin – then we can relax and enjoy ourselves even more. So eating together as a family as often as possible, especially if you can avoid tension at meal times, makes a lot of sense and a lot of bonding.

Finally, how does oxytocin help in healing? It’s definitely powerful. It lowers levels of blood pressure and the stress hormone cortisol, slows the heart rate and reduces inflammation. It helps us absorb the nutrients from food better and promotes growth, recovery and repair. Good quality close relationships are often linked to good health – men especially benefit from being married. Massage, touch and stroking, which increase oxytocin levels, can contribute to releasing of negative emotions and make us feel more communicative.

We should be no different from other mammals who do all the right things: they lick and smell and nuzzle and stroke and let their offspring bump up against them or hold and carry them in the early weeks. The effects are life-long. If we have extra closeness when we’re young, we’re more resistant to stress-related illnesses when adults.
So next time you’re irritated by your child or partner or friend,  or on a difficult day you’re tempted to follow that misleading parenting ‘expert’ and get punitive or distance yourself – remember to call up oxytocin with a gentle touch and a hug instead – remember that oxytocin truly is a stroke of genius.